I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Swine flu. Run for my life!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Don't EVER smell your tampon
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
