I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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