So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Never joke about your clitoris.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
