Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
