I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
