i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
