I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
