I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Randomize
