I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize