It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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