we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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