ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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