I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
