going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
