Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
