there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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