yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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