Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i out mim tonsoeep
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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