he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
