Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
