I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Randomize
