Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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