What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize