paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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