new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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