"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
