So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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