I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
