Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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