Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
