Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
