Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
