So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
