I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize