While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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