He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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