i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
