Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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