You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He shit in the fireplace
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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