he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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