This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
