i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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