you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
