something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
