I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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