I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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