If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Houston, we have a squirter
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
