I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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