Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize