After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize