Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
