I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
