Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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