why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
