drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
