please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
