I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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