you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
