this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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