If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
