I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
