there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize