Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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